Wow.

Things are starting to work out a little bit.

Welcome, Insomnia.

Stop It.

Brain, just quit it.

Whatever happened to peace at night?
Why can't I lay on my pillow and think anymore?
Why am I sooo restless?
Why can't I make up my mind?
Why do I keep ranting to myself?
Why am I so confused?
Why is it that all of a sudden, my brain just starts screaming memories at me when all I want to do is be calm and wonder?
Why is this insomnia back again?
Why aren't I sure of anything anymore?
What happened that made everything just completely switch up?
What sub conscious realization is waiting for me?
Again, why am I so restless?
Why am I afraid?
Why am I so eager to go right back there and walk right back into a messed up situation that just keeps messing me right up?
Why am I so unsure and insecure all of a sudden?


Nothing at all happened today. No realizations. No interventions. No eureka moments. No brilliant ideas. No romantic gestures. No betrayal of friends.

So why tonight? Why right now? Why is this happening? Why isn't it making sense?

Hello World.

Now known as “Brittanyloo”.

 

P.S. I miss you guys : (

Dreams. That’s Where I Have To Go.

I read somewhere…a blog, “100% True Facts!”.

“When someone appears in your dream, it means they want to see you.”

If I could believe this, I would feel so enlightened. I want to believe it. It seems plausible. But where’s the proof?

I remember this one day, a creeper I know walked up to me and told me he had a dream about me the night before. I never in a million years wanted to see him. But I was still in his dream?

This is what makes me doubtful. I wish I didn’t have to be. Wouldn’t life be so less confusing, so much more simple?

 

And I look up to you. Like you never ever knew. And I love you. You would never have believed it was true, but I do.

Drama.

The past couple weeks, my stress level has increased. It’s peak season for my dad and his work, this is the time of year where he’s traveling all the time and only home for five days maximum.

My level of responsibility increases, as well as levels of complexity in my days.

What I really NEED is simplicity. And that is really hard to come by, teenagers these days are powered by ‘one-upping’ each other’s drama. I try my best not to, but I am still not innocent.

The weight of everyone’s drama is piling down on me the past week. and, I must say, social media makes the problem alot worse. People get more comfortable conversing online, and say things they could never say in person. There’s oversharing, bullying, and feeeeelings.

I need a break from drama, because let me tell you, every day I get emailed, messaged, called, or pulled into bathrooms because of someone else’s drama. Thats because I’ve always told people I would be there for them. But this is getting kind of ridiculous.

YO, I DIDN’T MEAN FOR EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU SAY TO THAT GUY, OR GOSSIP ABOUT SOMEONE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW!

I’ve had enough of drama. So if its there, don’t bother me with it. Sure, I’m happy to help you solve your problems, but from now on, I’m only enabling myself to deal with a select few people. People i know who have something worth my time, effort, and sleep.

Please, enough with the drama.

“Life, is essentially the definition of simplicity. However, we seek out complications to inject into life. Goodbye simplicity.”