A Letter, to You.

I have been thinking quite a bit about you lately. And I miss you a whole lot.
I needed to write this letter to you. Just because, its night. And I'm not thinking straight, so naturally I am thinking most brilliantly.


Night is special to me, because its the only time I can focus on thining about you. I can playback word for word conversations. I can reenact in my mind every time I've been in your presence.

That hasn't happened in a while (being in your presence), and now I just need to organize my thoughts of you on paper. Or pixels.


I want to hear every litte detail about you lately. I will make decisions based on the possibilites that might involve you. Would you be more likely to be at Costco, or Safeway? Well, I've seen you in Safeway, but I've heard that you shop at Costco.

That kinda stuff is the stuff I can cover in my head during daylight hours. But the beautiful stuff I accomplish at night is much more worthy. The worst part is I forget everything in the morning, and I cannot concentrate on getting it back So I am writing this all down.


I don't know much about you lately. I don't know what's keeping you busy, what movies you want to see, what songs are your favorites, what level you're at it Skyrim.

I do not know what happened, but I guess its harder to keep tabs of each other. I don't even know why. Well..yes I do. And its me.


I made a big decision, and it was made because you reassured me that you weren't going to be socially alive to me anyways. So...I believed that.

Kinda just like I believed all of that other stuff. Kind of how I believed it was 'your friends'. Kind of how I believed you were any good. Kind of like I believed that it was 'definitely not out of jealousy-oriented behaviour'.


I know I cannot trust you. I still do nevertheless. I guess people do change and try be gain a responsibility that comes with a much higher maturity level. We both know you are not possibly mature enough for the resonsibility of committed relationships. Neither am I. Neither is anyone else in our generation.

It doesn't mean I don't love you though. Teenagers can absolutely love people, contrary to popular belief. I just don't think we can "fall in love". Our stage of love is a friendship one for sure. I would die for you, do ridiculous things for you. And I do. I put up with you don't I?


For all these years, name just three people that have always been there on your side, with you. You can't can you? There's only one person. We both know.


Now, because of mistakes you've made, you have a horrible reputation. Everyone whispers things about you. And it hurts me so much. But they don't see the courage that you showed. They do not have a clue how you dealt with everything. And that is what makes me proud to say I stuck by you.




There is only one hour every week when I know exactly where you are. And even then I cannot be sure. It kills me now though, because for the first time in forever, I'm not beside you.


I do miss you, I wonder about you. I wonder if you're eating Edo tonight, I wonder if you've gotten your liscence yet. I just wonder. And I dream.


xoxo
Me.